Gluteus Divinus

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Gluteus Divinus

: Even today, your gluteus medius and minimus perform a "divine" balancing act; every time you take a step, they exert a massive pull to keep your pelvis from sagging toward the unsupported side. Modern Mythology

Warning: Prolonged exposure to the scent of Gluteus Divinus may cause dizziness, infatuation with inanimate objects, and an irresistible urge to twerk. Gluteus Divinus

Not everyone can achieve the to the same degree. Bone structure plays a role: : Even today, your gluteus medius and minimus

Indigenous to the mist-covered, high-altitude ridges of the fictional Erebus mountain range, Gluteus Divinus requires extremely specific conditions to thrive: high humidity, rich loamy soil, and consistent "affirmation." Horticulturalists claim the plant responds positively to sound vibrations, specifically bass-heavy music and spoken compliments, resulting in increased turgidity of the lobes. Bone structure plays a role: Indigenous to the

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